I guess I can start explaining.
I dont really know how or what to explain though. I mean it’s complicated, me not writing for probably around a month and then all of the sudden trying to summarize my life in that time. All I know is, it’s not a very happy year so far. I say that knowing that I dont know right now what makes it so unhappy. I guess you could say that as always I’m unhappy with myself. I’m not doing anything productive and I need to be…or something.
Things I know as of now…
I loved Tony…I mean I still love him. My sister says “Jenny you love everyone” and this is true but there are different kinds of love for each person. I loved him…I love him, whatever…but he has changed. It’s explainable but I will not explain it. It’s hard even explaining my love to those who decide to read this.
I’m not happy with the relationship with my mother…and that’s all I’ll say about that.
I’m not happy with the choices I have made and are making. Fix them you say.
So this is what’s been going on I guess. A rant similar to those rants in before entries….well I say F it.