Ghost of Earth ©

February 6, 2006 Uncategorized

The feeling of going backward and forward at the same time is both amazing and terrifying.  I dont know what I want at all, and it scares me to death.  I could go both ways in the same instant. 


Knowing more of who I am has made it harder to pretend to be who I am not.  It’s hard for me to just hang anymore, it’s hard for me to be interested in things that should seem interesting.  I am stuck.  I am in a rut and I want out.  I just want this part of my life (We’ll call it Decision) to be over with.  I just want to know where I’m going again, like I thought I did before.


PS- I don’t expect any of you to understand this at all.  It’s all in my own head. 


The fish are well.


I am trying to become flexible, ignorant, like I used to be.  If that sounds conceited, it’s not meant to be, I have one of the lowest self-esteems.


It’s 11 pm, goodnight.

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